Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I Have a New Little Friend

Well, first of all.

I have an old friend.

My best friend since pretty much the beginning of time.

You can check out her blog here. The Illusion of Flying.

She's super nice, super funny, and super cute. Go-go-go follow her!

And now, for the new friend.

This little guy:

Eet's a wittle raccoon!!!

Well, a big, fat raccoon.

I had people over to buy some of my furniture the other day and didn't want to have a bag of trash sitting in the kitchen while they were deciding what to take - so I just left it outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, most people have those big trashcans for their trash to live in outside.

Somehow, in the year that I've lived in this apartment, I have yet to get one.

A little late now, donchya think?

I, of course, forgot that I left the trash outside until it was actually trash day.

I'm sitting outside, smoking a cigarette and lounging all over my patio furniture - I find the strangest positions when I'm getting comfortable - and as I turn my head to flick the ashes, I see a fat, little raccoon sneaking up behind me.

He literally was in rogue assassination mode.

The moment our eyes locked, he froze.

Then he slowly circled around behind my lawn chair and proceeded to go to town on a bag of bread that was too high calorie to be kept in the house.

Om nom nom!
Apparently this bread was so fucking fantastically delicious, that little Mr. Raccoon didn't mind me taking about 30 pictures of him eating.

I can be so inconsiderate sometimes....

I hate it when people watch me eat, but I will fucking take picture after picture of a poor, innocent raccoon eating his dinner.

Fuck it.

He was too goddamned adorable not to torture with flash photography.

A bientôt, lovelies.



  1. I fucking love raccoons! So cute! :)


  2. OMG the raccoon is so cute!
    I would have flipped out though, and probably scared it away, haha!
    I am going to go check out your friend's blog; I will most likely end up following. :)
    I hope you have a fantastic day; you deserve it!
    Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

  3. SQUEEEE!!! Oh, my holy fuck, I WANT THAT RACCOON!!! It's adorable!

    This is my little raccoon, her name is Sphinx. She's also a sneaky leelte sheet!

    I, too, hate it when people watch me eat. Filthy fuckers, hold up a mirror and watch yourself eat, dammit! This make-a-me angry!

    Right, off to check out your matey's blog. Love you. <3. XXX.

  4. OH!!!!! i want a racoon !!!! THEY ARE SO FREAK'N CUTE!!!!! I make sure there r ppl there wen i eat ,just 2 prove 2 them tht i'm "eating enough"

  5. MUFFIIINNNNN!! I love raccoons; they're such cuties. Every night when I go out for my before-bed ciggie, the same raccoon comes to peek his head over the top step of the deck, just in case I have a treat for him. He's a clever little muffin--he knows I'm the one that's always tossing junk food out behind the shed. :D

  6. Aw he is precious:) they can be little assholes when they tear through your whole trash bag & drag it all over the lawn, but they are just too cute to stay mad at!
    I doubt he was embarrassed about you taking pictures of him:p wouldn't it be nice to have no self conscious about your body like animals do? ahh, would be heaven to live in their heads!

  7. Best animal photography justification EVER!!

  8. OMG!!! I hope your ankle is OK. Yeah, fuck food allergies, IBS, the whole lot! Will think of you when I work out tomorrow! Love you. <3. XXX.