Woke up constipated and cranky, so, being me, I rush off to take laxatives.
Must eat more fiber and quit with the laxie business.
I also look like an insane person today.
Because my scalp is so fucked up from the over-bleaching and dying adventures, it's been flaking and peeling and itchy and disgusting.
I haven't really talked about this, but I have a problem with picking.
Like, a serious problem.
Because of my anxiety and OCD tendencies, when I get anxious or upset I start scratching and picking.
I have a freaking scar on my left arm from scratching in the same place so often.
I also tend to freak out at the slightest bit of dandruff or dead skin and will pick at my scalp until it bleeds.
Obviously, this is not helping anything.
I was going insane last night and scratch-scratch-scratching at my already weakened and wounded scalp.
The boyfriend rushed onto the scene and looked up what to do.
Apparently the internet suggested putting Vaseline on my scalp to help protect the skin and let it heal.
It also has the added bonus of being greasy and disgusting so it prevents me from scratching because I don't like washing oily Vaseline off my hands every 5 minutes.
But FUCK YOU, internet.
I woke up this morning and took a shower and instead of the Vaseline washing off my scalp, it spread to cover all of my hair.
I showered more than 3 hours before this picture was taken and my hair still looks wet from all the Vaseline.
I look like more than a ridiculous greaseball right now and, goddammit, I have things to do today that require going out in public.
I do not want slick-backed hair. I do not want petroleum jelly everywhere. How am I supposed to go to Starbuck's and study all afternoon when I look like - and feel as moody as - this:
Once I get my FedEx delivery, I'm going to take a thousand showers until this greasy mess is OUT. OF. MY. HAIR.
One of the things that requires my real life presence is Banana Republic.
This is another reason why I am so cranky today.
I went to Miami to exchange the two dresses and cigarette pants that I had bought online which had ended up being too big.
Silly me, thinking I had just lost weight.
I probably am more of a 4 than a 6, but when I went to try on different sizes of one of the dresses, I ended up having to get a 0 and it was still too large.
Going from a 6 to a 0 - are you fucking kidding me, Banana Republic?
If you're going to have a limited collection like the Mad Men collection - and you're not going to have the full collection available in stores, only bits and pieces at each store - THEN JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST MAKE YOUR SIZES CORRECT so that your online ordering population isn't waiting 7 - 9 business days for clothes that don't fit only to find out that the clothes they bought aren't available at any of their local Banana Republics and the sizes that they need to exchange for are now sold out online.
FUCK YOU, Banana Republic.
I had one dress that they did have at my local Banana Republics - I went to three.
I exchanged the 6 for a 0, which was still too loose, so I went online and found out that it's offered in a 00, just sold out in the color I wanted.
I ended up buying the 00 in a different color for 40% off today to replace the one I did want, but which was too loose. I will probably still end up making alterations to the 00 in order to make it fit correctly.
As for the other dress I bought, it's not sold in any of the stores I've been to. And it's sold out completely in the color I want.
I could get it in black in a 00, but I'm not sure if I want another little black dress.
The grey was classier, in my opinion. And more unique.
And the goddamned, hot-ass cigarette pants that I loved so much.
A size 6 and literally falling off of me.
I have not found them in ANY stores, though none of the Mad Men collection is online-exclusive so some stores must have gotten them.
I get them in the mail, too big.
Take them to the store to exchange so I don't have to wait for them to arrive in the mail, again.
The stores don't have them.
Look them up online to exchange them through mail - sold out in all sizes below 10.
This is my plan to get back at Banana Republic for being completely evil.
I bought all of my Banana Republic clothes for 30% off because of a deal they were having.
I got an email for 40% off two items for today, Wednesday. They're having a deal where on Wednesdays 8/31 and all of September, you get 30% off one item or 40% off two items.
So I re-bought the dress I had already exchanged in a smaller size and I bought a purse. Got 40% off and saved $100.
When I exchanged the dress initially, I was given coupons for the same Wednesday deals - in store.
This afternoon I will return the two dresses and cigarette pants and buy another dress and pants and get 40% off.
Thus saving me money over what I originally paid when I only got 30% off.
Take that, Banana Republic, you horrible-sizing bitches.
I will post pictures of the classiness from Banana Republic once my hair returns to normal and I, y'know, get the classiness.
Gotta wait 7 - 9 business days to see if the 00 fits me. Hah.
A bientôt, lovelies.