Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fuck it


Please stop tearing apart my stomach and intestines.

Why did I even start taking you again?

Oh, right.

Because I've been craving dessert and pizza and french fries and horrible foods all week.

And I've been giving in to my cravings.

And now I must get rid of everything that's stuck inside me.

I feel fat.

And bloated.

Because I am.

I bought shoes and accessories to go with my clothes binge the other night.

Might as well make it so that I can wear complete outfits...

Spent all day on Polyvore making outfits in preparation for when the clothes arrive.

I hate shopping.

I hate using objects to distract me from how shitty I feel.

I've been depressed and strange all week.

This post isn't even mildly coherent or in any discernible order. But that's how my thinking has been.




Fuck it.

I want a goddamned cigarette but my social anxiety has been leading me towards agoraphobia as of late.

Even if I could leave the house without having a panic attack, I don't have a car.

I'd probably die of heatstroke trying to walk to the nearest store.

Not to mention dying of embarrassment from walking.

I wish Florida was more pedestrian friendly - like Chicago or New York.


The end.

Time to catch up on blogs.

A bientôt, lovelies.



  1. I felt the same way last summer. It was my husband's first summer in med school, my kids were home (and insane), I knew no one in town and it was a milliondy degrees outside. BUT! You have adorable new clothes by the look of it. ;) Keep your chin up, girly.

  2. Man, I have issues with retail therapy, as well... it's one of my self-destructive, impulse control disorder behaviours. However, the outcome is always nice; your clothes look great, and I'm sure you'll wear them well!

    I'm sorry Florida isn't so pedestrian friendly... is it navigable by bike? That's what saves me in the city!


  3. That second outfit is adorable, though I know the feeling of avoidance through shopping. As for the laxatave bloat, I generally avoided dairy for a day or so, and drank lots of ginger and peppermint teas. Since I don't abuse laxatives any more, my cures for bloat and over eating are:
    A tsp of baking soda dissolved in a glass of water to settle my tummy
    Ginger tea to help digestion
    avoiding salts, eating fresh foods
    apples (for a morning help, they help digestion)
    Usually the day after overeating or over-carbing I stick to fresh foods like mozzerella tomato basil cucumber-see my post today for an example :)

    I hope this helps! Also warmth on the tummy helps, like a heating pad. And lots and lots of water! Get well soon dear.

  4. I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling depressed and strange. I hope you start to feel better soon and that the anxiety eases off.

    I do love all the things you bought, so stylish!

    Give Mr. Jaks a kiss from me. Thinking of you. Love you lots. <3. XXX.