They didn't really have much on sale - or much at all for that matter, but our apartment complex has two swimming pools and I live 20 minutes away from the beach and I have been to neither because all I own is a bikini and I refuse to go out in public and have complete strangers see my strange, distended belly falling out of a bikini.
The boyfriend, being the med student that he is, asked one of his doctor teachers about it. They said it's likely that I have Diastasis Recti, a condition where the middle abdominal muscles are not attached at the linea alba at the body midline.
Because of this muscle separation, there's a weak abdominal wall in the middle of my stomach - so despite losing 25 lbs and despite my lowest weight being at the bottom of the normal BMI range and despite diet and exercise, I still, and always, have a weird protrusion right in the middle of my stomach just above my belly button.
It. Never. Goes. Away.
Apparently it happens in infants and normally corrects itself. It also happens during pregnancy from the uterus pushing against the muscles and forcing them to separate and it also normally corrects itself.
In my case, I'm 20 years old and this condition has never gone away - if I even have it. I still need to see a doctor and get an official diagnosis, but it seems likely that this is what the problem is.
What they do to correct it in adults is a tummy tuck, wherein they suture the muscles to the linea alba in order to create a stronger abdominal wall and force the stomach muscles together so that there's not a gap in-between them.
That crap going on in the bottom picture, yeah. That shit happens to me. I'm, and I don't normally say this, fairly thin, but if I bend over it's like fucking roll city. It doesn't even appear that they did too much during the tummy tuck on this woman, she's still pretty large. Obviously there's a marked improvement, but the biggest thing, in my eyes, is the FLATNESS.
No matter how hard I try, a flat stomach seems like an impossible feat.
I've lost 25 lbs and my stomach looks EXACTLY the same.
Anyways, I've somehow gotten away from myself and have gone off on a diatribe that probably just illustrates how much of a hypochondriac I am.
The point of this post was, at the beginning, somewhere before the diastasis recti disaster, about getting a new swimsuit.
It flattens my beastly stomach!
I don't look pregnant from the side!
The joys and miracles that are polyester and spandex!
The boyfriend will not go to the pool with me, as he does not know how to swim, but has graciously agreed to go to the beach with me tomorrow in celebration of my new acceptable-to-wear-in-public bathing suit.
Oh happy day!
We would've gone today, but it's the rainy season in ye olde Florida and today the weather forecast said it might rain.
Rainy days at the beach are not the best, in my opinion.
But Sunday has gotten the all clear and is supposed to be sunny and 90!
In preparation for the big unveiling and virginal trip to the local beach, I'm liquid fasting today.
I've never quite managed to stick with a liquid fast for an entire day, haha, but I've done well so far.
This morning I had coffee with no-calorie sweetener, 2 tablespoons of Italian Creme creamer - 70 calories, and a pour of Silk Original Almond Milk so that I get the extra creamy lightness without using half a container of creamer in one go. The almond milk has only 60 calories in one cup and I used probably about 1/16th of a cup, so I'll just say the calories are negligible, maybe 5 for this calculation.
Breakfast: 75 calories
For lunch, I had a Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Bubbly and carbonated, yes, which is bad for bloating. But ginger ale always calms my stomach and I think the carbonation helps me to feel fuller.
Lunch: 0 calories
I'm not sure yet what magical liquid I will have for dinner in order to satiate my desires for real food.
Hopefully the thought of going out in public in a bathing suit will be enough to turn me off of food for a day.
We shall see.
A bientôt, lovelies.