Saturday, August 20, 2011

Beachy McBeacherson over here...

In keeping with my shopping addiction as of late, I went to Target and browsed their swimsuits to see if anything was on sale.

They didn't really have much on sale - or much at all for that matter, but our apartment complex has two swimming pools and I live 20 minutes away from the beach and I have been to neither because all I own is a bikini and I refuse to go out in public and have complete strangers see my strange, distended belly falling out of a bikini.


The boyfriend, being the med student that he is, asked one of his doctor teachers about it. They said it's likely that I have Diastasis Recti, a condition where the middle abdominal muscles are not attached at the linea alba at the body midline.

Because of this muscle separation, there's a weak abdominal wall in the middle of my stomach - so despite losing 25 lbs and despite my lowest weight being at the bottom of the normal BMI range and despite diet and exercise, I still, and always, have a weird protrusion right in the middle of my stomach just above my belly button.

It. Never. Goes. Away.

Apparently it happens in infants and normally corrects itself. It also happens during pregnancy from the uterus pushing against the muscles and forcing them to separate and it also normally corrects itself.

In my case, I'm 20 years old and this condition has never gone away - if I even have it. I still need to see a doctor and get an official diagnosis, but it seems likely that this is what the problem is.

What they do to correct it in adults is a tummy tuck, wherein they suture the muscles to the linea alba in order to create a stronger abdominal wall and force the stomach muscles together so that there's not a gap in-between them.

That crap going on in the bottom picture, yeah. That shit happens to me. I'm, and I don't normally say this, fairly thin, but if I bend over it's like fucking roll city. It doesn't even appear that they did too much during the tummy tuck on this woman, she's still pretty large. Obviously there's a marked improvement, but the biggest thing, in my eyes, is the FLATNESS.

No matter how hard I try, a flat stomach seems like an impossible feat.

I've lost 25 lbs and my stomach looks EXACTLY the same.

Anyways, I've somehow gotten away from myself and have gone off on a diatribe that probably just illustrates how much of a hypochondriac I am.

The point of this post was, at the beginning, somewhere before the diastasis recti disaster, about getting a new swimsuit.

It flattens my beastly stomach!

I don't look pregnant from the side!

The joys and miracles that are polyester and spandex!

The boyfriend will not go to the pool with me, as he does not know how to swim, but has graciously agreed to go to the beach with me tomorrow in celebration of my new acceptable-to-wear-in-public bathing suit.

Oh happy day!

We would've gone today, but it's the rainy season in ye olde Florida and today the weather forecast said it might rain.

Rainy days at the beach are not the best, in my opinion.

But Sunday has gotten the all clear and is supposed to be sunny and 90!


In preparation for the big unveiling and virginal trip to the local beach, I'm liquid fasting today.

I've never quite managed to stick with a liquid fast for an entire day, haha, but I've done well so far.

This morning I had coffee with no-calorie sweetener, 2 tablespoons of Italian Creme creamer - 70 calories, and a pour of Silk Original Almond Milk so that I get the extra creamy lightness without using half a container of creamer in one go. The almond milk has only 60 calories in one cup and I used probably about 1/16th of a cup, so I'll just say the calories are negligible, maybe 5 for this calculation.

Breakfast: 75 calories

For lunch, I had a Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Bubbly and carbonated, yes, which is bad for bloating. But ginger ale always calms my stomach and I think the carbonation helps me to feel fuller.

Lunch: 0 calories

I'm not sure yet what magical liquid I will have for dinner in order to satiate my desires for real food.

Hopefully the thought of going out in public in a bathing suit will be enough to turn me off of food for a day.

We shall see.

A bientôt, lovelies.



  1. Duude I had that swim suit, and it works a freakin miracle! It's also super cute and retro. If you wear red sunglasses, people will be like "oh, she's not self conscious, she's just retro" It's fantastic. You look awesome. About the belly, I don't doubt what you think about the medical stuff, however, I didn't lose my belly until I did like 200 crunches a day and lost 40lbs and did yoga. BUT you are my height and weigh much less than me, so I'm crazy. Even so, if you haven't tried yoga, it works wonders. love you darling girl

  2. i love your swimsuit; i agree with olivia lee; whack on a pair of red sunnies and you're good to go :) xo.

  3. Love the suit and you look GREAT! Have fun at the beach!

  4. I'm with you on the bikini front, there's no way in hell!

    I've been doing a bit of research into my own tummy problems and found out I have this:

    Oh, happy day! NOT!!! No matter how thin I get, I always have it! It's made worse by all the coffee I drink. Fucking evil cortisol! I believe antioxidants and anthocyanins help, hence the açai berry powder I'm taking! Also, sitting down for most of the day makes things 100 times worse, so I've swapped my chair for a gym ball. In just 2 weeks, my core muscles have strengthened and my back is straighter. I must just remember to get up and walk around evry few hours to improve circulation! Keeping fingers crossed!

    The idea of a tummy tuck frightens me. So much can go wrong. With my luck, I'll be left horribly disfigured!

    As for your swimsuit shots...I'd give up men for you! SMOKIN'!!!

    Hope you have fun at the beach, Babe! <3. XXX.

  5. oooh that is a super cute swimsuit! That before/after girl is chunky, but does look much better after the operation, that sucks so bad though :/ I hope you can get it fixed! lol I wish I could go have a doctor fix my tummy.. just more crunches for me though I guess /overdramaticsigh

  6. Thank you for the lovely advice and kind words :) I love that swimsuit, and you look quite trim in it! I am sorry about the tummy- I'd definitely to get some other opinions and try stuff like yoga before surgery- but either way, your stomach looks freaking fantastic in that suit!

  7. Hope the liquid fast goes well! <3

    What sort of tummy exercises do you do? A friend of mine has the same issue (although his is REALLY bad, because he gained and then lost like over 100 lbs in less than a year...). I got him doing sit-ups with the mini-ball and he said it helped a lot. It's like those yoga balls, only it's more the size of a volleyball. You stick it underneath you and it works all the tummy muscles, instead of just the ones at the front. I don't have the actual ball; I just use a big pillow and it works the same.

    Those shaping swimsuits are amazing. I got one in Macy's that makes me look like I'm wearing a corset. :D