Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Oooh, take it off. Take it all off!

So. I had an appointment with the dreaded orthodontist from hell today.

It was terrifying, as per usual, but for significantly different reasons.

Tornado season is upon us!

I was obsessively checking the weather reports all morning to see if there was any expected scary weather in the town where my orthodontist appointments are.

All was well until about an hour before my appointment when tornadoes attack the city.

Awwwwwwwwwww.
I'm sure it was nothing like this. Nor would I want it to be.
Barf.
I call to reschedule and they couldn't fit me in until June 5th. WTF. No.

So instead I....

...acted like a fucking insane person and decided to drive to the recently demolished city of tornado death.

I live life on the edge.

Yeah, I'm a risk-taker. What of it?

Surprisingly, despite Weather.com posting pictures of houses with roofs missing or entirely flattened, I didn't see any damage.

I guess it was on the other side of town...

The actual appointment was tornado-free. Wahoo!

And I got some unexpected news!

I'M PREGNANT!

No.

I'm getting my braces taken off at my next appointment and I get to wear one of these babies...

H. O. T.
I'm not sure if my positioner will actually be so horrible as to be attached in the middle so that you can't speak.

But, who knows. My orthodontist is on the same level as Dr. Kevorkian, except that I approve of assisted suicide and do not approve of dental torture.

Oh well, even if it is attached and dumb looking and I can't speak, it's still good for two reasons:

1. My mouth will be shut more often. Meaning, less consumption of crap I don't need to eat.

2. My mouth will be shut more often. Meaning, less random bullshit to blather on about.

3. NO MORE FUCKING BRACES.

Ha, that's three.

Oh well, my braces are off before my 20th birthday! I don't give a fuck!



A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love

4 comments:

  1. Whoot Whoot!! God news on the braces front eh? I've had my fair share of ortho-hell and 10 grand later one of my bottom teeth is shifting >.< But you are brave on many fronts, the risk of having a cow fly into your windshield being risk numero uno. I only relate weather to movies I've seen haha. The second front being those ridiculous retainers! I've never seen them connected like that haha. Looks quite brutal. But hey in the long run it'll all be worth it right? Super sweetness.

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  2. heyy i only just noticed u were following me when u left a comment on my cabbage soup diet post, sorry for not following u sooner, I am now though :) anyway do it with me pleassseeeee i really need someone to do it with

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  3. Congrats on losing the braces, I've never had them but I can bet that it's a huge relief.

    We had a tornado warning where we're at to, but there' wasn't so much as a gust of wind to even rattle our house. Soooo... I'm not sure what the fuss was about.

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  4. YYYAAAYYYY for no more braces!!
    ::victory dance::

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