Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Epic Quests through Epic Weather

Today, the boyfriend and I dropped off the car we're taking to Chicago at the auto-shop so that they could do an assessment and see what needs to be fixed before we drive endlessly in it.

Hungry children that we were, we trekked a mile and half to go to the Chinese restaurant nearby. At least this time I didn't go crazy on the "Curry Chicken"-fries and instead just got egg drop soup in order to comply with my liquid diet.

Just before we left, I whipped out my phone, brought up Endomondo, and prepared to get my exercise statistic addiction fed.

Then we walked outside. Into a fucking Midwestern hurricane.

Fuck you, Midwest. I'll bring torrential rains and enough wind to plant fucking palm trees on your ass.
WHAT THE FUCK?! I'm not in Miami yet!

I'm not supposed to be dealing with hurricane-caliber winds and rain!

I live in the middle of the fucking continent!

There's no water for miles! How does this happen?!
The boyfriend and I then proceeded to make our trek back to the auto-shop.

We trotted onwards: 

Through that awful horizontal rain from too much wind that was blowing directly into our faces.

Through busy four-way stops - crossing streets looking like impoverished vagabonds.

The squeaky chirp-chirp-chirping of my flip-flops as I slowly tread water across concrete sidewalks and uneven pavements.

When we finally arrived at the auto-shop, we were the most pathetic creatures you've ever seen.

Clothes soaked, hair dripping, flip-flops slimy with too much water mixed with grimy puddle sediments, barely able to see through the rain drops scattered across my glasses.

We could have been in a "Save the Animals" commercial narrated by Sarah McLaughlin. Pathetic enough to make you cry until you pay up.

Unfortunately, we were not pathetic enough in order to get a steep discount.

The fat man behind the desk did have a hearty fat-man chuckle at our expense, though.

Ah, I see it's raining outside.

Um, yeah, just a bit....

A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love


  1. OMG! I can't believe it! I read about the mid-west weather malfunction, I hope you're OK.

    It pissing down here, but we don't mind, we're in the middle of the worst drought in 100 years! That's Africa for ya!

    Travel safely, my friend. <3. XXX.

  2. Wow...it's so flat where you live! I'd go crazy without seeing any moutains! I live in east Tennesse, so there's quite a big different in landscae! I really like reading your blog by the way- you humor always makes me smile :D. I hate it when it just opens up and pours like that- I wouldn't just hung out in that food place until it calmed down a bit! I also hate it when the wind is so strong is blows your umbrella inside out- which causes the thing to snap :/.

  3. That is where you reply with:
    "It's just a bit on the damp side"

    MiGOD! How did you survive?!? D: So glad to see you didn't get wrapped around a palm tree :)

    My problem is that when I record on the youtube page it will always cat 2min off the end during processing. What I need is a program that will make the video files I record with YouCam smaller so they don't take 2+hours to upload. *Facedesk*

    I hope you have a good week and that the car doesn't need much done to it :)


  4. Hey some people go out of their way to look like impoverished vagabonds. And who doesn't like to say the word vagabond? V a g a b o n d. I want china soup. Am I getting off topic? I hope you have a blast in the windy city, why are you going anyway? Vaca?! That would be exciting.