Monday, September 19, 2011

Crazy Anxiety Time

I have an interview.


Commence freak out.

I need to graduate this year.

My mother is, again, being an idiot and taking forever to do/turn in my financial aid paperwork.

I seriously cannot take another year of this hassle - especially now that I'm living out of state.

I either have to go back to the midwest for the Spring semester - which I really do not want to have to do - or I have to get an internship worth 6 credit hours and then go back during the summer to finish up my classes.

I applied for approximately 7 internships yesterday and got an email back from one of the firms.

Interview is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9 am.

The only problem is that I don't have a car.

If I take the bus, it will be a two hour ride.

Not really looking forward to that.

I can possibly get a ride from this girl I know - it depends on if she has to babysit during the day tomorrow for this family she nannies for.

Here's hoping I don't have to suffer the bus.

I'm terrified of missing my stop, missing a transfer, or getting lost, culminating in me being late for the interview.

As if that doesn't cause enough anxiety for me as it is - it's a fucking interview!

I like working.

I liked my last job.

I'm good at working on projects.

I hate interviews.


I'm great at public speaking, but talking one-on-one about myself. Fuck.

It's incredibly overwhelming for me.

That's going to be the biggest hurdle for me when it comes to snagging an internship - getting through the interview without making an ass of myself.

After emailing the firm back to confirm the interview date and time, I spent the morning trying on possible interview outfits and talking at myself in the mirror.

What sucks is that one of my biggest skills is communication.

I was on my university's debate and forensics team for three years and am excellent at persuasive speaking - I just need to apply that to interviews and talking about myself.

Otherwise, I just look like an idiot that doesn't know their strengths and weaknesses.


Time to take some Klonopin before I make myself sick from worrying.

A bientôt, lovelies.



  1. Keeping fingers crossed for you! I know they'll love you! :)

  2. I hate interviews too. The anxiety I go through just getting to them and that's before they even start!

    Good luck though! xo

  3. good luck at your interview! :) xo.

  4. Good luck with the interview! I am horrible at them, as soon as someone asks me a question about myself, I freeze, and all possible responses fly out of my head. Klonopin is a nice fallback in this situation, I have to say. :)

  5. Bloody hell, interviews suck the big fat hairy one.

    Would it help to imagine them with pumpkins on their heads?

    Fuck, I have no good advice. Perhaps pretend you're taking about someone else? Like your clone? Lol, lock the good twin in a suitcase and let the unscrupulous, bullshit queen out for the day XD

    I'm sending you lots of good-luck wishes and calming vibes. I'll try to take photos of pretty cherry blossoms for you tomorrow to zone-out at while sipping green tea and saying 'Ooooooooom' :p

    What do Buddhist Electricians say?


    I promise, no more pen-cap jabbing. Next week I'm just going to be as loud and obnoxious as everyone else. Fuck them!

    Love you <3

  6. It sounds like you'll ace it-- verbal skills and tranquilizers are the only reason I'm even slightly functional as a human being :) It sounds stressful, though. Wishing you the best of luck.