Friday, April 29, 2011

visits with the man behind the paper mask

Blaaargh. I hate dentist appointments.

I hate dental hygienists.

I hate the smell of latex and... mouth.

I hate the 80s sunglasses they make you wear to avoid getting fluoride splatter and spit in your eyes.

I hate that I'm over 18, and because of this they feel the need to torture me further by poking down in my gums to see just how bad my gingivitis is.

I hate gagging on my own blood.

I hate that bitch that was flossing my teeth and kept getting my lip piercings stuck in my braces over and over and fucking laughing because it was just so damned hilarious. For her.

I hate that I have low blood pressure but the dental assistant just chuckles and doesn't believe me because I'm on the verge of a fucking panic attack so my blood pressure is normal.

But I like the saltwater rinses. And headaches that force me to pop ibuprofen like I normally pop controlled substances. And I like the nausea and stomach ache that come from swallowing my own blood. And I like the feeling of absolute repulsion when I think about eating.

So there's that.

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