Spiraling Down the Path of Binge Drinking

Oh, I've been a lazy Blogger.

Tsk, tsk, tsk!

And by that I mean, I've been obsessively checking Blogger on my phone for comments and such and have been completely neglecting reading your blogs and writing new posts because I've been.....

OUT OF TOWN AND BINGING ALL WEEKEND.

My best friend this weekend, except that he was offering me booze, not donuts.

Blargh.

My weight hasn't been going down on the scale, presumably because I've been eating everything in sight like a goddamned starved elephant. I do not want to plateau. So. Fucking. Terrifying.

Tomorrow I have to update the Progress page with the results from last week. Dreading it. Dreading getting on the scale tomorrow.

As of yet, today I've eaten nothing and burned at least 400 calories at the gym on the treadmill.

Purging through exercise, yo.

At least I have been exercising rather regularly. Much more regularly than I used to.

And for the first half of the week, I was eating really well and staying under my calorie limit.

The past half of the week, however, has been some sort of binge drinking, out-of-control hell.

An accurate representation of me this weekend.

On Friday night I drank entirely too much vodka, ending in the drunk baking extravaganza.

Then Saturday, my aunt (she's only 6 years older, it's not creepy) and her boyfriend invited us to go bowling with them. And drink.

One screwdriver, a beer, a glass of Chardonnay, and two glasses of Sangria later, I am drink drank drunk and smoking weed and spilling my heart about....

The U.S. public school system? And how it's oppressive and creating little mindless drones that do as they're told and are terrified of doing anything outside the box?

I'm weird when I drink.

And by weird, I mean nerdy.

To top it all off, we decide to take our groovy hangovers to a Chinese restaurant on Sunday, where I order Curry Chicken. It comes out with french fries in it. I've nothing against curry on french fries, because, admittedly, it was quite good. But seriously, when you're creating a dish and it's chicken based, I want some good goddamned vegetables being the supportive cast. Potatoes are already a shady vegetable in my eyes. Don't fucking mistake french fries for potatoes - and, because I don't think you're that dumb - don't try to pass off french fries as vegetables. It's insulting, if not tasty. But still caloric and evil.

Not only did I eat french fries in my Chinese food, but we got froyo. Because it's 1998 and there's nothing more appealing than FROYO. You can abbreviate it!

I have no self-control. Especially when I'm not on my medication so I actually have an appetite.

The boyfriend! They have cups! So that you can make parfaits! Let's have parfaits!!!!


Coconut frozen yogurt.
Granola.
Key Lime Pie frozen yogurt.
Coconut flakes, white chocolate chips, chopped walnuts.
Peach frozen yogurt.
Fresh Pineapple.

It. Never. Ended.

In my defense, we did walk to the Chinese restaurant and the frozen yogurt shop. And we did walk back home.

Yeah.

Right.

In my defense.

We burned maybe 125 calories by walking to the restaurant.

Le sigh...


On the bright side, I'm going to Chicago for Memorial Day weekend. And I'll most likely do the Master Cleanse or some other liquid fast for a few days until we leave so that I can be extra svelte for the big city.

A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love