Oooh, take it off. Take it all off!

So. I had an appointment with the dreaded orthodontist from hell today.

It was terrifying, as per usual, but for significantly different reasons.

Tornado season is upon us!

I was obsessively checking the weather reports all morning to see if there was any expected scary weather in the town where my orthodontist appointments are.

All was well until about an hour before my appointment when tornadoes attack the city.

Awwwwwwwwwww.
I'm sure it was nothing like this. Nor would I want it to be.
Barf.

I call to reschedule and they couldn't fit me in until June 5th. WTF. No.

So instead I....

...acted like a fucking insane person and decided to drive to the recently demolished city of tornado death.

I live life on the edge.

Yeah, I'm a risk-taker. What of it?

Surprisingly, despite Weather.com posting pictures of houses with roofs missing or entirely flattened, I didn't see any damage.

I guess it was on the other side of town...

The actual appointment was tornado-free. Wahoo!

And I got some unexpected news!

I'M PREGNANT!

No.

I'm getting my braces taken off at my next appointment and I get to wear one of these babies...

H. O. T.

I'm not sure if my positioner will actually be so horrible as to be attached in the middle so that you can't speak.

But, who knows. My orthodontist is on the same level as Dr. Kevorkian, except that I approve of assisted suicide and do not approve of dental torture.

Oh well, even if it is attached and dumb looking and I can't speak, it's still good for two reasons:

1. My mouth will be shut more often. Meaning, less consumption of crap I don't need to eat.

2. My mouth will be shut more often. Meaning, less random bullshit to blather on about.

3. NO MORE FUCKING BRACES.

Ha, that's three.

Oh well, my braces are off before my 20th birthday! I don't give a fuck!

A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love