No More Breakfast of Champions

Whew!

It's been a while.

More than a while.

But I got the job!

So I'm working full time now, in addition to the housekeeping and babysitting gigs.

And school.

Updating Infrequently = Super Long Ramblings

Wellllll.....

I'm heading out to ye olde post office in a bit to start sending out the giveaway prizes!

For those of you winners that haven't yet emailed me your mailing address... you can still do so at this address.

And hurry! Because my self-control is waning and I've got tons of makeup goodies just sitting around waiting for me to break down and open them!

Before I review the makeup for you guys, let me again reiterate (redundant, no?) for those of you that don't know, I'm a member of BzzAgent, a word-of-mouth marketing firm that lets it's users participate in campaigns to try out new products and give honest feedback. I was selected to be a member of the Maybelline Baby Lips and Lots of Lashes campaign so I received these products for free.

Giveaway Results!

The results are in!

I used this random number generator to get the winners of last week's giveaway.

Some of your numbers actually came up multiple times since there were only 12 entries - so you guys just had the lucky numbers. ;)

In the order in which they were selected:

Little Miss Thin - Mascara

TK - Mascara

Jéanne - Lip Balm

Peridot - Lip Balm

Lissa - Lip Balm and Mascara

Just email me at this address with your name and address - being sure to include all address info if you live outside of the United States.

That's it!

Lip balm ladies, include in your emails your preferences for the lip balms - I have 2 clear, 1 pink, and 1 peach-colored lip balms.

Just remember!

Once you get the products, be sure to try them out and let me know how you like them! :D

A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love

Working Woman

Well, I had planned on updating earlier, but I suppose today works out fine because....

Today is the last day to enter the giveaway!

Today is also Thursday.

Thursdays are nice in my book because I don't have my internship, I just have housekeeping.

Makeup Giveaway!!!

Ahhhhh!

The package arrived!

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm a member of BzzAgent, a word-of-mouth marketing firm that offers campaigns where members can try out new products and, in return, let BzzAgent know what they thought of the products and what their friends/family thought.

I was selected to participate in the Maybelline Baby Lips lip balm and Lots of Lashes mascara campaign and am passing on my good fortune to you!

The package arrived and I received not one, not two, but five Baby Lips lip balms and five Lots of Lashes mascaras.

Being diligent about trying out the products.... I'm keeping one set of mascara and lip balm for myself, saving another set to let one of my coworkers try out, and giving the rest away to you!

Cheesin'

MIA No Longer and Upcoming Giveaway!

I know I say this all the time...

"I'm busy."

"I'll catch up on your blogs."

"I'll update more, I promise!"

Yeah, well, that hasn't exactly happened lately.

*hangs head in shame*

Tattoo time!

Oh, dear god.

I've been missing in action for absolute aaaagggggeeeeesssssss.

I apologize. Sincerely.

I've been swamped with work, school, internship, two kitties, and life in general.

And I'm still trapped at 120 lbs.

The scale will. not. move.

Mer-meow!

I've been a workin' woman.

Gone 3 days a week, all day.

First the internship, then the housekeeping.

Poor master Jaks has been a sad, sad kitty.

Staring up at me each day when I come home, crying.

;____;

Poor crying kitty.

Don't be sad!

Sleek Teeth

The braces have finally come off.

I was warned that my teeth would not be perfect.

I went to a new orthodontist in Florida and, apparently, the brackets I had were different from the brackets he worked with.

I had already paid an $85 deposit, so I decided fuck it, just take them off.

The dreaded rising scale

Well, enough work talk.

I've been so incredibly stressed out lately with getting the internship, getting everything figured out with school, getting my financial aid finalized, classes, life in general - everything!

I've been a mad woman lately.

Stress is a very bad thing for me.

I am the worst at handling stress and lately I've been eating like a starved animal as a defense mechanism.

Hand over the Ramen and no one gets hurt!

Busy Bee

Well I started the internship on Monday.

Everything, thankfully, got worked out.

My first day primarily consisted of stuffing, labeling, and sealing envelopes.

It was much less glamorous than this.

The Plight of the Overexcited

I get my hopes up.

Often.

The littlest things get me insanely excited.

I start planning for things far in advance.

Researching every little detail, buying necessary items, telling everyone and their mother about whatever opportunity I've found for myself.

And then it all comes crashing down.

Every single damn time.

Thank you, lovelies

You ladies are the best good luck charm anyone could ever ask for.

Ever.

Guess who had an interview today?

And did awesome?

AND GOT THE INTERNSHIP?!

Crazy Anxiety Time

I have an interview.

Tomorrow.

Commence freak out.

Mad Men, you cruel temptress of television laziness

So I've been rather MIA lately. And this is why.

As many of you know, and as evidenced by my insane Banana Republic shopping sprees, I have an intense love for Mad Men (and all things marketing/advertising-related in general).

Cheating on my iPad 2....?

It's a thing of beauty.

Shiny, sleek, new.

Jaks likes it, too. Cat thinks he's people...

Shameless Apartment Porn - Pic Heavy

Labor Day went splendidly.

I met some girls that live in my apartment complex - one goes to the boyfriend's med school (we shall call her K) and the other is just like me (we shall call her J) - dating a guy that goes to the boyfriend's med school and taking online classes through her old university for the time being.

They invited me to go with them to the complex's pool yesterday and we ended up spending nearly 3 hours poolside - chatting, gossiping, relating stories about med school and med school boyfriends.

I worked on my tan and only got slightly burnt - mostly on my nose, a smidge on my chest and shoulders.

All in all, it was a nice change of pace.

Binge Monster on the Prowl!

Well I did go back to the gym the other day.

I managed to go a whole 5 minutes longer - but I did more incline on the treadmill and higher resistance on the stationary bike, so I ended up burning 245 calories instead of 175.

Unfortunately, my eating for the past few days has been totally out of control.

I managed to not take my medication on the worst day possible.

Back to Business

Well, now that I'm out of my self-pity, scalp-falling-off slump, it's back to business. (I switched from Vaseline to hydrocortisone cream and tried doing the dry washing that Kitty suggested and it worked much better. Thanks for all of the advice, ladies!)

I went to the gym a couple of days ago for the first time in about two months.

It was easy to tell that I hadn't been in a while.

I used to be able to do 30 minutes on the treadmill, 30 minutes on the stationary bike, and then do weight training.

When I went last time, I was barely able to do 15 minutes on the treadmill and 15 minutes on the stationary bike.

I was panting, soaked, and out of breath by the end of those 30 minutes.

I Complain A Lot.

Well today started off absolutely splendid.....

I wish.

Woke up constipated and cranky, so, being me, I rush off to take laxatives.

Must eat more fiber and quit with the laxie business.

I also look like an insane person today.

Botched Beach Day and More Incessant Vanity

This morning was terrible.

I am a very bad person and did a very bad thing.

I had tripe and cupcakes for breakfast.

At-Home Hair Dying Shenanagins and Clothes!

I had to go to Walgreen's today for a clinic appointment.

Won't go into all the gruesome details, but suffice it to say I have a Urinary Tract Infection and being on the Depo birth control shot has caused me to be on a mega-period that's lasted 2 weeks.

Both are unfortunate, but meh. Got antibiotics and pain pills that turn my piss bright orange...

Anyways, while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled, the boyfriend and I wandered about Walgreen's and ended up in my usual aisle: hair care.

We browsed the hair colors and eventually I impulse bought a bleaching kit, blonde hair dye, and John Frieda Blonde shampoo and conditioner.

New Diet Plan and More Weight Loss Pictures

I updated the progress page yesterday and all it did was make me realize how awful I've been at keeping up with SparkPeople.

That, combined with actually getting on Wii Fit today - mostly so I could weigh the cat, but also to weigh myself and see my progress - gave me the kick in the ass I needed to actually start caring enough to track what I eat and keep track of my calories burned from exercise.

Hurricanes, haircuts, and pizza - Oh my!

Well it's beginning to look like Hurricane Irene is going to miss Florida and run on into the Carolinas instead.

And I am totally okay with that, haha.

I was not really looking forward to my first hurricane, so hopefully I'll just have to deal with a bit more rain than usual and that's it.

So, Jaks, what's on the agenda for today...

....Hmm, no homework.

Looks like I'll be cleaning house, watching What Not To Wear and Law & Order, and blogging today.

The liquid fasting in preparation for beach-time didn't exactly work out as planned.

The boyfriend took a break in-between WoW raids and wanted to get dinner. I decided to tag along with the expectation that... I'm not even sure what my thinking was. I realize that I have no will power. I should have known immediately that going with him would end in me eating.

We decide on Steak 'n Shake and, in an attempt to feel better about my late-night diet ruining, I got three Frisco shooters instead of a full-size Frisco sandwich. Oh, and they come with fries.

Beachy McBeacherson over here...

In keeping with my shopping addiction as of late, I went to Target and browsed their swimsuits to see if anything was on sale.

They didn't really have much on sale - or much at all for that matter, but our apartment complex has two swimming pools and I live 20 minutes away from the beach and I have been to neither because all I own is a bikini and I refuse to go out in public and have complete strangers see my strange, distended belly falling out of a bikini.

Blargh.

Fuck it

Laxatives.

Please stop tearing apart my stomach and intestines.

Why did I even start taking you again?

Oh, right.

Because I've been craving dessert and pizza and french fries and horrible foods all week.

And I've been giving in to my cravings.

And now I must get rid of everything that's stuck inside me.

I feel fat.

And bloated.

Because I am.

I think it's time to commit me....

.....for my shopping addiction.

Sunday night the boyfriend had to go to bed early so that he could get up for class on Monday. I tried my hardest, but couldn't fall asleep.

Here's my cue to camp out in the living room and browse the internets on the laptop.

While I was browsing, I came across a story about Banana Republic coming out with a Mad Men collection. Coming out? No. CAME OUT.

Red Alert in the Southern Quadrant!

Oh, the humanity of it all.

The most dangerous of dangers attacked my nether regions in July.

No, not lit up genitalia.

And not STDs.

This was purely self-inflicted, though I suppose you could argue that STDs are at least partially self-inflicted.

Fat Cat

It would figure that my cat would be like me in every way imaginable.

We took Jaks to the vet to have his post-coming home check-up and get his rabies shot done. The fluffy guy hid underneath our chairs the entire time, making himself cozy in a little kitty cave. He tends to hide if there's even a hint of light, natural or otherwise.

The vet hefted him onto the counter and took his weight. 12 lbs.

12 lbs!

Apparently 8 to 11 lbs is average for cats.

He is a rather large specimen - and not just because of his protruding belly. He's just a large cat.

Okay, maybe because of his belly...

Laziest weight loss triumph EVER

Mid-June I got down to 120, briefly 119. I was ecstatic.

I then moved back in with my gramma for about 3 weeks until the move to Florida.

I got back up to 123 lbs and had no access to the gym and was constantly tempted by her farm-wife cooking and discount bakery purchases. That woman is the Queen of Unhealth, I swear.

I hovered at 123 lbs for approximately a month.

I finally bought a new scale, and this time got a dial scale instead of a digital, at the suggestion of Mich and many others.

I stayed at 123 until the beginning of August, when I started magically losing weight.

I've now gotten down to 117 lbs. Officially under 120 lbs - time to get that tattoo. :D

How did I do it?

Lightning bolts or Pikachu tails, YOU DECIDE!
(They're Pikachu tails, don't kid yourself.)

Finally, an update from Florida! Pic obese

It's been a long month.... a little bit longer than a month....

On July 12th, the boyfriend and I began the long drive to Florida. After driving through 6 states, we finally arrived at our new apartment on July 14th.

My aunt and her boyfriend were already staying in Miami with her boyfriend's sister. Long story short, their living situation wasn't working out, so we offered to let them stay with us for a while until they decided what they wanted to do.

The next two weeks were filled with a multitude of trips to IKEA, furniture shopping, hours spent in Target, and getting acclimated with our new life in Florida.

We immediately bought a cat the day after moving in. Knowing me, it would have been a travesty if we hadn't gotten a cat as soon as possible. ;)

Another Year Older - Birthday Adventures and FL Apartment News

Once again, I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy riding the birthday train all week.

Thursday was my birthday - 20! I'm no longer a teenager. ;) Although, I also don't get to use being a teenager as an excuse for my bratty behavior anymore. :/

My lovely Lemon birthday cake, courtesy of my dear Gramma

Karma Karma Karma

Last week I started the Skinny Girl Diet.

Day 2. Friday, June 24th.

All was well until the hungries hit.

I should've just gone to bed.

It was 11:00 pm. I could have slept.

I could have done anything.

But no.

I was hungry.

For fast food.

SGD Days 1 and 2

In order to combat the binge to end all binges, I've started the Skinny Girl Diet.

I'm normally not a fan of calorie-restrictive fad diets because they never work for me because I find it impossible to stick with them.

Luckily, that doesn't seem to be the case with SGD.

Instead of feeling hungry and pissed that I can't eat more, I just go into the kitchen and find some fresh fruit or veggies to nibble on.

I'm turning into a little rabbit.

Obligatory cute bunny picture.

My Gluttony Knows No Bounds

Let me start this post with a thanks for all of the lovely comments on my last post.

And also, a sweet sorrowful apology for not posting lately and not being caught up on reading your blogs.

You guys really are too kind.

Completely forgot to mention on Sunday that it was the TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY of être svelte.

While Sunday was a day of good, these past couple of days have been very, very bad.

Or, more accurately, I have been very, very bad.

Tsk tsk tsk!

Back From Mini-Trip - Pic Heavy

Well the trip went swimmingly.

Shakespeare in the Park was quite good - Much Ado About Nothing.

We had ourselves a little picnic at the play - my aunt brought cocktail shrimp, chilled Cucumber Avocado soup, an Italian sub, and roasted garlic hummus with pita chips.

Today we slept in late, had coffee and cereal for breakfast, and eventually made our way to City Museum.

Away Again

Sorry if this is short, but I'm away again this weekend to visit my other aunt and uncle in St. Louis before the big move.

We had homemade margherita pizza last night.

Today I finally used the first out of my growing collection of Groupons. Finally, haha.

It was for a manicure and Minx nail application. The manicurist was extremely nice and helpful and told us about neat things to do nearby. The nails weren't half bad either, ba-dunk-chink!

In all actuality, I'm not sure if I like them or not. The Minx application is definitely different and interesting, but at the same time I think they look slightly trashy. What do you ladies think? To Minx, or not to Minx?

Tonight we're going to see Much Ado About Nothing at Shakespeare in the Park.

On tomorrow's agenda: adventuring around the City Museum followed by the St. Louis Zoo.

I'll update with pictures of adventures and catch up on your blogs on Monday!

A bientôt, lovelies.

- parisienne.love

Рецепт недели четыре

That's right!

It's the Recipe of the Week - IN RUSSIAN.

This one's for you, Peridot.

The Soviets are taking over and, believe me, you'll like what they're bringing.

It's time to get down with the (former) Communist Par-tayyy with Recipe of the Week 4.

I'm a dork.

20 lbs GONE :D + lots of workout talk

It's official.

My weight on the scale has crept down to 120 lbs.

Proof!

When I first started dieting, exercising, etc. in April, I weighed 140 lbs.

It was the most I had ever weighed and I was so discouraged with myself for gaining that much weight.

I Have a New Little Friend

Well, first of all.

I have an old friend.

My best friend since pretty much the beginning of time.

You can check out her blog here. The Illusion of Flying.

She's super nice, super funny, and super cute. Go-go-go follow her!

And now, for the new friend.

This little guy:

Eet's a wittle raccoon!!!

Well, a big, fat raccoon.

Week 8 Results!

I can't believe that I've been doing this blog and my dieting/exercise regimen for 8 weeks now.

I never stick with anything, never see results, always get discouraged and give up.

Until now.

I weighed myself today - 120.5 lbs. (You can read all of the juicy details of this past week of weight loss on the progress page.)

Only half a pound away from losing 20 lbs since starting this blog!

It's fucking insane!

I never thought I'd be able to say that I had lost 20 lbs. It always seemed so unattainable.

Once I get out of the 120s and drop down to 119, I'm getting my first tattoo. Excite!

Wii Would Like to Play :D

So the boyfriend left for Chicago on Saturday and returned Sunday.

With....

(if you couldn't already guess from the title)

A Wii!



Yeah, yeah, they're coming out with the Wii U in 2012.

But I've been wanting a Wii and Wii Fit for God-knows-how-long. So I'm not complaining.

Plus, uh, hello, we have a Wii now! Not complaining at all.

A Primer on Bathroom Etiquette: Privacy

I hate public restrooms.

It's a widely known fact that I will avoid them at all possible costs.

I'm pretty sure I went through the entirety of high school only using the school restrooms twice.

If you can get yourself past the germs, sitting where other people's bare asses have been, the smells, the general horror of the whole experience... you still have to face the people problem.

I'm mildly more accepting of public restrooms that only accommodate one person at a time.

I have time to cover every square inch of the toilet seat in toilet paper. I can wash and re-wash my hands until I feel clean again. The door is usually close enough to a trash can that I can open it with a paper towel and not worry about touching the filthy thing with my virginal, unprotected hands.

Public restrooms with stalls are on the same level of torture and acts against humanity as the Holocaust.

Tell me you haven't seen anything more terrifying.

"We probably do look like the Sixties...."

Yesterday was bittersweet.

My dearest aunt and her boyfriend left today to go on their extended summer road trip around the United States and Canada. Yesterday was their last day before they left, so we all met at my grandma's house for brunch.

First, a quick primer on the eccentricities of my family tree.

My mother and my youngest aunt are 16 years apart. 

My youngest aunt is only 5 and a half years older than me. 

Because of this, she's more of a sister to me than she is a sister to my mother, who is her actual sister.

Does this sound like a grade school math problem yet?

This gets complicated and strange quite quickly, so I've created a handy dandy family tree graphic to further explain. Thank you, MS Paint. You make such elegant illustrations.

The boyfriend and my aunt's boyfriend both find the situation to be hilarious and confusing all at the same time. Her boyfriend, especially, oftentimes gets confused on who we're talking about when we use generic terms such as "Mom" and "Grandma" instead of names. He has yet to fully comprehend that when I say "Mom" I'm referring to her sister, and when she says "Mom" she's referring to my grandma.

Cats, Crepes, and ROTW trois!

Well, the progress page is finally up to date!

Thanks to all of you lovelies for your amazing comments lately! Special thanks to those of you who are newer to commenting on my blog: Becca, Amber, and Bones. Super special thanks to Cinnamon for all of the cat pictures! Purrrrfection.

Meowwww beaorineaienofnaimocimeo.

I went to Trader Joe's the other day.

They had "Cats Cookies."

.................

"For People."

Heaven.

Someone in their marketing department knows me personally.

And is making delicious treats to fatten me up.

I'm not sure if I mind.

For the rest of you who don't feel like consuming their body weight in children's cookies, I've got the...

A Shopping Trip that Didn't End in Tears, or, The Little Girl that Could

I love shopping. When I'm thin.

For such a long time, shopping has been a necessary evil.

One that ends in me buying maybe one or two things.

Oftentimes avoiding dressing rooms completely and then returning home with a bag full of items that don't fit.

This is how my addiction to online shopping began.

Losing weight, it seems, is a magical antidote to the horrific shopping experience that I've become so used to.

Oh god... The dreaded scale problems.

I got on the scale yesterday morning.

123.5 lbs.

Maintaining from vacation.

Got on the scale yesterday morning after eating breakfast.

122 lbs.

Grumble Grumble Grumble

Yarrrr.


shakes fist.


I am the grumpiest girl in the world.

Or the grumpiest pirate. (Yarrr.....? Really?)

Or the grumpiest cat. Most likely scenario.

And when it comes to him, I can talk forever

Well I'm finally back from my trek to Chicago for vacation.

Technically, I came back on Tuesday, but we'll just ignore that little fact because I've been busy unpacking, repacking souvenirs and gifts for people, cleaning, getting my car ready to sell, blahblahblah.

Chicago was, as expected, awesome. I went to Chicago for New Year's, but was only there for a couple of days, so it was nice to see all of the places that I hadn't gotten a chance to see before.

The boyfriend's dad lives/works in a suburb near Chicago and has, for most of the time, an unoccupied condo in the heart of Chicago that he stays in when he has the chance.

Thus, the boyfriend and I had three glorious days alone in a super posh condo. And then three days with his dad staying there. Luckily, his dad is hilarious and fun to hang out with and, being Russian, like the boyfriend - haha - he likes to get everyone around him drunk.

Good for fun times. Bad for dieting.

Hey, uh, you've got some cabbage on your cabbage. - ROTW 2

So today I leave for Chicago with the boyfriend, marking a hiatus from Blogger and my internet addiction until after Memorial Day.

While I'm gone, I've got a new recipe for you lovelies to try out.

That's right. It's the...

Oooh, take it off. Take it all off!

So. I had an appointment with the dreaded orthodontist from hell today.

It was terrifying, as per usual, but for significantly different reasons.

Tornado season is upon us!

I was obsessively checking the weather reports all morning to see if there was any expected scary weather in the town where my orthodontist appointments are.

All was well until about an hour before my appointment when tornadoes attack the city.

Awwwwwwwwwww.
I'm sure it was nothing like this. Nor would I want it to be.
Barf.

I call to reschedule and they couldn't fit me in until June 5th. WTF. No.

So instead I....

Epic Quests through Epic Weather

Today, the boyfriend and I dropped off the car we're taking to Chicago at the auto-shop so that they could do an assessment and see what needs to be fixed before we drive endlessly in it.

Hungry children that we were, we trekked a mile and half to go to the Chinese restaurant nearby. At least this time I didn't go crazy on the "Curry Chicken"-fries and instead just got egg drop soup in order to comply with my liquid diet.

Just before we left, I whipped out my phone, brought up Endomondo, and prepared to get my exercise statistic addiction fed.

Then we walked outside. Into a fucking Midwestern hurricane.

Fuck you, Midwest. I'll bring torrential rains and enough wind to plant fucking palm trees on your ass.

Spiraling Down the Path of Binge Drinking

Oh, I've been a lazy Blogger.

Tsk, tsk, tsk!

And by that I mean, I've been obsessively checking Blogger on my phone for comments and such and have been completely neglecting reading your blogs and writing new posts because I've been.....

Drunkorexia! now with laxative abuse fun!

I apologize in advance for the fairly low-quality pics in this post. I was drunk for most of the night and didn't find my camera until the latter part of the evening, so most of these were taken off my phone. Facepalm.

Yesterday started out as a normal day. Waking up late, going to class, eating fast food, getting extremely depressed because the pharmacy failed to refill my prescriptions on time.

mood: apathetic.

I resigned to laying on the bed all evening, a slug in woman's clothing. The boyfriend left for a while - came back prepared to do battle, a bottle of Smirnoff in tow.

Salvation.

Peridot, you said you wanted some authentic Rusky recipes - check out my food blog for an awesome Vodka and self-pity based recipe of tragedy. ;) I'll post some real recipes for you sometime as well, I promise. ♥

After getting thoroughly drunk, I do what I always do. DRUNK BAKING.

Yeah, I jog. Ain't no thing.

Because our free trial at Anytime Fitness is only during their staffed hours, our times when we can actually go to the gym are rather limited. Yesterday they were only open until 1 pm and we didn't get a chance to go even though I was really looking forward to it.

Sad Panda.... Because I still use slang from 2008.

I was already dressed for the gym by the time the boyfriend had called to see what their staffed hours for the day were, and considering how long it takes me to get dressed to leave the house, I was not wasting those efforts.

One Month Blog-iversary!

Yay! It's been one month since I've started être svelte. A momentous occasion, to be sure.

My little blog started as the random rantings and ravings of some anonymous girl into the vast, cavernous depths of the internet.

You have no idea how happy I am to have such lovely followers. I couldn't ask for a better audience - I am, to be perfectly honest, surprised that I even found an audience to listen to me blather on such a regular basis. ;)

So thank you, lovelies, for making my blog what it is today.